The Best Commercial Ever

Oh my god. Every commercial should start this way. And they should all be this craptastically awesome.

A Very Special Christmas Gift

I think I know what I'm getting all my special lady friends out there this year. Check it one time.

My Cute Little Niece

So I got this video postcard from my cute little niece. She's quite the spitfire. Takes after her Uncle Rich, although I tend not to swear as much.

Yo, Bust a Move

Okay, this kid's spins are a little gay, but other than that, he reminds me a lot of me back in the day, bustin' moves to Newcleus and Whodini. Can I get a little "Freaks Come Out At Night"?

The Most Uncomfortable Barbara Walters Has Ever Been

Danny DeVito is my new hero. Check out the completely unabashed, drunk off his ass appearance on "The View". Barbara Walters clearly just wants to curl up and die. Naturally, I didn't see this live. Chicks talking? Yeah, sign me up for that. Nice piece of publicity for his movie that looks like it sucks. Maybe I should try this for the next Alexandra opus.

Thank you, Paris Hilton (and the Germans)

Awesome. Just when it looked like Britney Spears was going to come out of the whole Feder-fiasco looking a little respectable, our girl Paris Hilton came riding to the rescue. Thank God we have our favorite trailer trash nymphette back. If I may be so bold, she's now skankier than ever.

Hold my calls. I'll be watching this for the rest of the day: